They can and wont

I wrote about a thirty lines of a poem. I erased it when I was finished. I have gotten into the habit of that lately. Destroying what I create. I dont like my writing anymore.. I used to like my poems. I knew they werent anything great, but they made me happy.

I will like them again. But right now we are fight.

"You dont do what we used to do anymore. Is it me?"

"Of course not. Its me. I just cant, keep up. I hate disappointing you."

"You never disappoint me. So really, you are just disappointing your self. I feel awful that I bring that out in you."

"Please dont take this on your self. I just.."

"Why not? You do."

"I know. I take it all on, and then we do, what we do. But doesn't that get so tiresome?"

"With out us doing what we do, i dont exist"

"Not true. There is always what we did. And well, this."

"True. But this is usually all alone, up in your world, never to be seen. All day"

"Does it have to be seen for you to be happy?"

"No, but praise sure brings a smile to your face"

"Yeah, but so do your. Writing"

No time for Fancey

Its late, or early, we've all herd it before. That old joke anytime anything has to do with the day after midnight.
"Well technically its tomorrow"
And we laugh, because its easy, but thats all we are. Easy.

Anyways im not terribly creative right now. My hands shaking and making it hard to type. Its quite frustrating. Im just going to update some stuff on my life, that way my next post can be a poem that I wrote and will make readers , well, question their role.

People:
Jackie - Went on a couple of dates. Still love that girl. Always will.

Alex - Got fired from the Ivy. Went to Texas and came back all new. Didn't do much for a couple of months and now just got a job starting march. Also he now has an agent.

Anastasia - I met on facebook. Then we were blog palls. Started hanging out in real life and hit it off. She's got problems, i've got problems, making us fast friends.

Savannah - I see off and on. She's still uber rad. She's making it work with her BF. I guess she's working for a pay check instead of waiting for the lottery.

Christine - I went on a couple of dates with. Then she stood me up and disappeared from the world. She alluded to having a biopsy once, so maybe she died... Sad but I dont know what else to think.

Neeka - New friend I made. She has an interesting profession, but I probably shouldn't tell people everywhere. And if your thinking prostitution, your wrong.

Random - There is a lot of random people. They deserve their own post.

Housing:
I am still in a living room. I hate that. This house has a constant flow of people, mainly congregating in my room. Some stay for a day, others for weeks. You never no. But it doesnt help my insomnia (which is worse)

If i cant sublet my old apt, jackie is moving out and im moving in. That will be interesting...

Job:
I work at the Ivy but its being bough up and I dont know how long I will be there.
I edit at night for the Kindling Group. Thats good for now. I need a more serious editing job though.

Health:
I went to the hospital again because of lack of sleep. One more time and both my doctor and head person said i may need to go to a special place for this. I hope i dont.

Planning on loosing wight.

Me:
People dont like me. The people who do tend to love me, and then i go into a shame spiral.

Ups:
It hasnt all been doom and gloom. Like I said before, thats all that makes it to typing. The happy times are enjoyed at their discretion.