Lets call this a war

Lets call this a war. The expanse between us, and ultimately our mysterious charisma amid one another. I know war seems harsh. It involves the death of naive children, anguish of those who are immediately to lose, orphans and widows, obscure justifications, and yet another thing to make romantic romance and lovers lose. They always lose, like in war.
That’s were our war has brought us. We only have distance and vagueness, but committing to ink and paper I feel the bomb shells hit. I am in the trenches, writing my heart out to a hope, a hope that there is something, someone out there. I write in spurts, firing at the enemy, killing, in between each thought out word. If this is all you have of me I want it to be beautiful… Picturesque to the best of my ability.
The truth is this war has haggard me. I should have died long ago, but medics are persistent. We hold true to our jobs, cause that’s all we have out here. If were not good at that, then let us die. Give us to the enemy, who will feed us. To just believe the falseness they believe, rather then our own falseness. No one has it right. Were all just throwing stones in the dark, listing to the splashes in the pound.
“My splash was first, and said I must annihilate you for your slightly threatening differences.”
“Well my splash came after yours and told me your splash was wrong. There for I will defend myself in the name of my splash”
I feel defeated and wrong. But I go on, because I have this letter, tucked into my helmet, that I must mail. I don’t want to think in terms of “I will never see you” All though odds are this war will kill me, despite how strong I am. I don’t want you to think in terms of “What if he made it, what would be different” I want it to be clear that I was writing a letter, dedicating it to you. All along.