One of my top 5 favorite bands

I have something coming

So I found a man dying underneath a car.
Took him to the hospital.
Waited for about 15 minutes.
He died. The doctors wouldn't really explain how.

Ill probably write something about it. It shook me a bit.
Going to the funeral tomorrow.
I dont know how I feel about funerals.



On the lighter side today I didnt have to pain houses.
So I woke up with my sister and brother and got them on the bus.
My sister brought out a bunch of paintings drawing and writings she has done.
I spent 4 hours looking them over.
I am so impressed with her.
I dont know weather to just let her be and have her continue in her own experiences.
Or sit and talk with her. Im worried about my own influence. She is already way more talented then I.

Any suggestions.

It seems like a response because its not

This isn’t a poem


Right?
I mean, im just another ego induced
self proclaimed writer.
I have no value to you.
every thing you wrote, said, motioned
about how you felt in what I did, made, cared about
or didn’t
It was a lie. But you knew it then
so why fret so hard now?

Is it because with every change of your mind
is a new rant to explain thusly?
every new person in you’re life
someone to love
love long enough to extract a character
then get hurt, or left
and live
“I never cared never cared. They weren’t what I wanted,
I was just teasing them, plying my mark. I am alone alone alone.
But listen to my new batch of soul mates”

You know I don’t believe in souls
I don’t believe in anything
it must be hard to talk to me.

I sound bitter
but Im not
im only concerned with myself
right?

You don’t even read this
anyways
right? I exhaust myself
like you
with bad, great, and mediocre writing
touching trueths, lies, but never
others.

Only our selfs.

Well, I guess myself
you have the immature crowd
that word always seems so nasty, I don’t want it to
and they are more apt to the screen
keeping up on anything created.
I am to
but that’s because of your talents.
Im talented to, and didn’t erase that
And never have been so proud of myself

This is not a poem though
Right?
cause I am not a writer
just someone for a list
someone to read, yours not mine, no one reads this
a good story, bad story, depending on when your fist
hits keys

Im old and young
Bold and timid
Amazing and just another
The only truth and always a liar
A perfect set of arms that will never close
A fit
A child
A dammed broken hope
Something to never travel for
Unless there’s no were to go i guess.

I am more
I know
I am less of course
“Life is the art that you make”

New character

He holds his quarter
Squeezing it real tight, before it goes away forever
‘Im the last person to not have a cell phone”

He spoke it into the receiver
He hasn’t used the quarter though,
So who was there to listen




-I will prob add a lot more to this. Or even make him a character in another attempt at narrative. But for now I like this.

There was me, there was them.

There was the one who I have loved
and always will love.

There was the sad one who would come in and out of my life
as much as I would cum in and out of her

There was the older Russian that wasn’t a “fucking lesbian”
and disappeared after she got what she wanted.

There was the lipstick lesbian
trying something new

There was the one who loved me right away
who actually didn’t become one due to that.

There was the one who didn’t want to
then again underneath it all, vodka told the truth.

There was the one who was famous for doing grotesque things online
but with me it was all gentle touches.

There was the one who managed my building
who I can only describe as a beautiful sad Ukrainian angel.

There was the one I chased and loved the game
and she gave me her mouth as a consolation.

There was the one who asked “how many of my friends have you slept with”
after being number five of her friends.

There was the ex stripper with the most amazing personality
that would appreciate being held more then anyone else

There was the one I lived with
then we would only joke about it to each other.

There was the one I don’t remember

There was the one that doesn’t remember
but I wish she did.

There was the Irish friend trying something new in the states,
I only held one as we slept afterwards.

There was the best friend of the one I loved,
that’s probably the saddest of the stories.

There was the one that disgusted me at first sight
and it only got worst from there

There was the one who traveled on a whim across the country,
I traveled back her direction, but was going to do it anyways.

There was the one with the annoying voice
that did amazing things with what that voice came out of.

There was the one I always had adventures with
we don’t know what happened, maybe she does and isn’t telling me.

There was the one that nothing wrong happened with,
its probably a good thing I moved from that.

There was the friend I’ve wanted to save for two years
who became just another one.

There was the one that was the only one around
and is so hard to get away from.

There was the ones not worth mentioning
also the ones I don’t want to mention.

There was me who fucked up in 2008
and by the looks of this, they must have too.